Chapter 44 - Home

 

Chapter 44. Home

Edward

Hot summer air hits us when we step outside of Freddy's. The streets are crowded, but I feel like Bella and I are the only two people here, just like the last time I walked her home.

She takes my hand and our fingers weave like they were made for each other. We're quiet until Bella nudges me with her arm. She glances at my chest. "Still into the Avengers, huh? 'Whatever it takes'?"

I peek down at my shirt then over at Bella. "Whatever it takes. Say it again."

Her eyes meet mine. "I love you."

I will never get tired of hearing her say it.

I pull her hand up to my lips and kiss. It doesn't feel real but here she is. Here we are. "I didn't think I'd see you again, much less hear you say..."

Christ. She loves me.

"I didn't know if I'd ever get the chance." She looks down at our joined hands. "I thought you were onto bigger and better things."

"I am."

Bella quirks an eyebrow. She pokes my chest with a finger. "Is this a trick? You said you're not a priest. Are you a bishop? A cardinal?"

I laugh. "Guidance Counselor actually. Or, I will be some day. I'm back in school for now."

She looks me over and gives me an approving nod. "Yeah, I can see that."

Then she falls quiet.

"What are you thinking?"

"I have a million questions," she says. "But there's one thing I'm dying to ask first."

"Ask me anything."

Bella stops and faces me. She takes my other hand as she takes a breath. There's a blush in her cheeks as she exhales.

People pass, cars honk, music plays from random bars as we stand in the middle of the sidewalk. Everything else fades into the background. It's just us. The rest of the world doesn't exist.

She pushes some hair away from my forehead.

"Can I kiss you?"

Is she kidding? "Any fucking time you want."

At first, every touch is delicate and shy. Her lips brush against mine, her fingertips glide under the edge of my shirt. I slip my arms around her and pull her close. The soft sounds she makes drives the kiss deeper. It's like that very first kiss, back in the confessional. Except now we both know what we want. Now there's no reason we can't have it.

I pull away just enough. "Say it again," I whisper in her ear.

"I love you."

"Get a room!" a kid hollers as he walks by with a pack of friends.

Bella's eyes light up. "I already did." She clutches my hand in hers. "Want to see it?"

I laugh a little. "Do I want to see your room?"

"It's right down the street." She's breathless, dead serious, and excited. Her expression is something more than sexy. It's hopeful.

She's asking me about more than just coming back to her place.

She's asking me about coming back into her life.

"I'd like to see everything." I rake my eyes over her from head to toe and back.

Bella shivers when our eyes meet.

"You can't be cold."

She shakes her head and stares into my eyes. Her lips part, her head dips, she hooks her fingers through my belt loops, and pulls me toward her.

This time when we kiss, she doesn't ask. And I don't mind.

I savor having Bella in my arms again, feeling the warmth of her body against mine, even when we're just standing on a random sidewalk in the middle of Brooklyn. Then something across the street catches her attention.

"We're going to need provisions," Bella announces, suddenly determined.

She takes my hand and leads me to a bodega on the corner. We wander through narrow aisles as a skinny cat winds between our feet. Bella picks up a coconut water, a box of peppermint tea, some cookies, and after careful consideration, a papaya.

"Really?" I ask, eying the enormous piece of tropical fruit.

"You want some mangoes instead?"

I toy with some of her hair, unable to look directly into her eyes. "You taste better than either."

Bella picks up a protein smoothie and a pack of gum. "As long as we eat it first." She blushes as soon as she says it. It's fucking beautiful.

"You need anything?" she asks, looking between me and the check out.

I shake my head as I eye the pile of groceries she's balancing in her arms. I take some of it for her. "Just you."

"You've got me, buddy." Her smile could light up the entire block.

We dump the groceries onto the counter and Bella nods to the cashier. "And two of the Trojan Ultra Thin…" She glances my way. "Extra large, right?"

His eyes go wide. If it's possible for an entire body to blush, mine is doing it. "Large is fine."

"One of each?" He suggests, setting them both on the counter.

Bella giggles. I pull out my wallet.

"No more poverty, huh?"

I smile as I pull some bills out. "I've got this."

She puts her hand around my arm and squeezes my bicep. "Yeah, you do."

Outside, I don't know who's guiding who, but Bella ends up pressed against the brick wall of the bodega with my body flush against hers. One of her hands slips underneath my shirt and the other slides over my ass. I get the impression she doesn't want to hold out for a room.

Before that can happen, there's something I need to say. It's the right thing to do. Especially considering the boxes of condoms in the bag at our feet.

Bella sees it in my eyes. "What's wrong?"

I take her hand again as we start to walk. "I have a confession to make."

She smirks. "Don't you need a dark, dank box for that?"

"Only if you're Catholic."

"Wait. What?"

It's something else I need to explain… later. "I kissed a woman," I tell her before I can decide not to.

Bella's eyes go wide.

"Or... she kissed me," I add with the strangest feeling of deja vu. The first day we met, Bella confessed about an unwanted kiss. That confession is what started us on this whole journey. Once mine's out of the way, we can start over again.

She looks from our joined hands into my eyes. "I can't believe I'm asking this, but are you seeing someone?"

"No. No, nothing like that."

With a sigh of relief, her expression changes. She smiles, she crosses her arms. Basically, she mocks me. "Care to elaborate," she asks in a deep, holier-than-thou voice.

She remembers too.

"Not really," I tell her honestly. But I am confessing, so I also admit, "I was a little drunk."

Bella's eyes flash with anger. She looks like she's about to hunt June down. "Did she force herself on you?"

"No," I'm quick to tell her. June may have been thoughtless, but she definitely wasn't forceful.

Bella nods her head, clearly relieved. "I see." There's a playful glint in her eye when she tents her fingers in front of her like I've seen Jasper do a million times before.

"Your impression of him is uncanny."

She lets me take her hand again, and she leads me through the heart of Park Slope where it's less crowded. The sidewalks are much wider, but we still walk close. I'm not sure where we're heading. It doesn't matter. She could lead me anywhere and I'd let her.

Despite our teasing, she seems more guarded. I want to make sure she understands. "I didn't ask for it either. And I put a stop to it as soon as I realized what was happening..."

I struggle with what I'm trying to say.

"Why do I sense a 'but' in there somewhere, Edward?"

"But… bottom line... it made me realize you're the only one I want to kiss."

After saying it out loud, I'm lighter. It's easier to breathe.

She stops short and tugs at my hand so I'm facing her. "Then what are you waiting for?"

With another brush of my lips against hers, it's all forgotten.

Bella's breathless from the kiss but there's something else. She seems uneasy. "There's something I need to say too."

Fuck. I hope she's not about to tell me Alec kissed her. "You don't have to-"

"I'm so sorry."

"Drink?" I offer, but the look in her eyes tells me this isn't the time to be funny. "Bella you really don't have to -"

"It was never just fucking. I've regretted it ever since I said it. I'm so sorry."

I remember the sting of what she said in her parent's garage. It seems like nothing compared to the look on Bella's face now. I hate that she's been carrying guilt around all this time. "You knew what I needed more than I did."

"I never want to make you feel that way again. It's not like this with anyone else."

"We both needed to follow our paths. There's nothing to forgive."

"Are you sure?"

"I promise."

"Oh my God, I love you." She says it easy, effortlessly. And I'm addicted to three small words.

With our confessions out of the way, our next kiss is different. Her breath feels warmer, her lips feel softer. It's just us. No collar. No guilt. It's even better than I imagined it could be.

I slide a hand under her t-shirt. She gasps as my thumb grazes her lace covered breast.

The kiss deepens. Our tongues meet. She tastes like peppermint and whiskey and smells like fresh cut grass. I'm eager for more and so is Bella. She arches her back and grabs at my waist. She pulls me close.

"Now you say it," she quietly pleads.

Like she needs to ask.

"I love you too."

"Fuck," she mumbles as her mouth crashes into mine.

The more I have, the more I need. Bella grabs a hold of my shoulders as I press her against the trunk of the nearest tree and kiss along her neck.

"Edward," she sighs. It's like the first time I heard her say my name, priesting out in my office at St. Mary's. Back then I thought temptation was my biggest fear. Now I know losing Bella is what scared me the most.

"You love me," I tell her, just to hear myself say it.

"I love you," she confirms, and suddenly every article of clothing is just in the way.

Christ.

"About that room?" I'm practically gasping for air.

Bella's face lights up like it's Christmas morning. She slips from between me and the tree. She reaches out and unlatches an iron gate. "We're home."

I look up. The house is huge, grand, three stories high with a little yard and tons of windows.

I glance down the street - Christ, my apartment's just on the other side of the park - then back to Bella.

"This is yours?"

She nods, excited.

"How long have you been here?"

"Since yesterday."

She tightens her grip on my hand and tugs me along as she runs up the steps. At the door, she fumbles with the lock like she's nervous.

"Hey," I whisper, pushing her hair from her face.

Bella jumps like I've stunned her and drops her keys. We both stoop to reach for them at the same time.

She giggles. She's blushing. It's beautiful.

"Everything okay?"

She places her hand over mine as we stand, then takes a deep breath.

"No biggie. This is just my dream come true." She goes up on tiptoe and places a peck on my lips. "Even rock stars get nervous sometimes."

...and former priests.

"There's nothing inside yet," she explains, as she turns the key in the lock and pushes the door open. She searches in the dark for a light switch. "Not much, anyway. I have some stuff coming, but-"

"Jesus," I interrupt. The house is fucking amazing. Original but modern, hardwood and high ceilings. There isn't much furniture, but I can picture it full of life. As I close the door behind me, the sound of the lock clicking echoes.

Bella turns to face me. "What do you think?"

I drop the groceries onto the floor.

"Fucking gorgeous."

"I know, right? It's-"

"I was talking about you. Say it again."

Her smile is radiant. "I love you. You're the best thing to ever happen to me. Alice told me to imagine this. I wanted you here and now you are and wait until you see the backyard…"

She's babbling, excited. I get it, but all I care about is her. Us. So before she can head toward the back of the house, I wrap an arm around her and pull her into a kiss.

The past year is suddenly worth it. All the heartache and hard decisions, second guessing my promise, wishing I could be with her, wondering if she wanted the same.

But she's fucking here now.

More important than any of it, she loves me.

Bella whimpers as her hands slide underneath my tee. Her fingers rest against my skin and it makes every part of my body come alive.

She tugs at my shirt and steps back as I pull it over my head. Her breath catches as she takes me in. She reaches a hand out and slides it along my stomach, up to my chest.

Her fingers trace the new words inked there.

Faith Hope Love

"The greatest of these is love," she hums. "First Corinthians."

"When I get small notes from you, I listen."

Her hand settles over my heart. Over my vows. "You kept them."

"You're not gonna run away this time are you?"

She looks up from my chest. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm home. Stay with me?"

"It's all I've wanted since the day we met."

I rest my hands on her shoulders, then let my fingers graze along her arms to her wrists. I play at the hem of her shirt and peek up into her eyes. "Is this okay?"

"You're really not a priest anymore?"

"Not a priest," I tell her.

"Then it would definitely be better if it was off."

A moment later her shirt falls to the floor. She reaches around her back then slips black lace straps from her shoulders. Her big, brown eyes never leave mine as her bra lands next to her shirt.

The look she gives me is humbling.

She trusts me. She wants this. I take a moment to thank God.

Then I take another moment to cup her breast.

Bella hisses as I rub a thumb over her nipple. "Thank God."

"Already did."

She waggles her eyebrows. "For my tits? Or for tonight?"

"For you."

Bella looks me over. Her fingers trace over my tatt before sweeping down to the waistband of my jeans. "Still so fucking hot," she says.

My cheeks light on fire. I want to close the space between us, but I notice I'm not the only one with new ink. My fingers slide to the last date over Bella's ribs. "Is that…?"

Now she's blushing too as her hand covers mine. "It's the day we met. My life hasn't been the same since."

I couldn't agree more. "Mine either."

Fuck. I knew I wanted something to remind me of her on my skin, something to tether me to her forever. I never thought she'd do the same.

Bella lifts an eyebrow and tugs at my belt loop with one hand while the other closes over the button of my jeans. "This okay?"

"Not the word I'd use… Say it again."

She flashes the smile. "You're getting greedy."

"Maybe," I tell her. "But I can't hear it enough."

"I love you, Edward. Now would you please let me get you naked?"

Before I know it, clothes are scattered all over the floor and she's in my arms. There's a dining room table not too far away.

She giggles as she wraps her legs around me and wriggles against my dick. "Still working out, I see."

Christ.

Bella nips her way from my jaw to my collarbone as I set her down onto the table. Her thighs tighten around me. This might be over before it even begins.

"This is gonna be quick." I confess.

"And hard. Please?"

Fuck.

As much as I hate to untangle our limbs, I want to be inside her more. So I give her a quick kiss, then jog across the room and get the condoms.

She grabs the box from my hands and tears it open. "I haven't been with anyone since you."

"I don't want to be with anyone other than you. Ever."

Her eyelids flutter. Her body shudders. She looks me over. "You're mine?"

"Always."

"Amen," she says as she rolls the latex over my dick.

The feel of her hands on me again nearly pushes me over the edge. I try to breathe.

"Are you going to make me beg?" she asks.

I grin. "Always."

"Cap would never make a woman beg," she teases as she spreads her legs and leans back onto her hands.

"Cap would never fuck a woman on her dining room table," I counter. "Stark on the other hand..." I reach between her legs. She lets out a small moan.

"Here, right?"

She nods as she sinks back, beautiful and shameless. Her hips tilt as I rub small circles just where she likes it.

"I could worship you all night."

"Yes, please," she pants.

I press harder. "Say it again."

"I love you."

I slide a finger inside her. Then two. Her body flushes. She arches her back.

I circle her clit again with my thumb.

"Oh my God, I love you."

Christ. I caress her breast, then take her nipple into my mouth. I nip. I lick. I bite. She bucks beneath me.

"Fuck," she swears. "I fucking love you."

My fingers move deeper. She rocks her hips. I circle, I dip, I curse against her skin.

"I… fuck…. I… Edward, I…" Bella fists my hair. She writhes beneath me as her body clenches around my fingers.

Her chest shudders. "Fucking Christ."

I kiss the valley between her breasts, then the dates under her ribs. One particular date I kiss twice. Then three times. It's the day my path took an unexpected turn. I'll be thanking God for that day for the rest of my life.

"Edward," she breathes. I hum, moving lower. I press my lips to the little black cross over her hip.

She grasps at my shoulders, tugging me closer like she's desperate. "I need you up here. I need you inside me already."

She needs me.

As much as I need her.

And fuck if I don't want her as much as I love her.

God help me, there's no coming back from this.

The knowledge is overwhelming.

Before I know it, I grab her legs and pull her to the edge.

My eyes dip. I take her in. She's flawless. She's mine. "It's back on the table?"

Bella laughs and covers her face. "It better be," she says, peeking through her fingers.

I peel her hands away and pin them just over her head.

Seeing the smile while she's under me like this. Skin on skin. Soul on soul. It's everything.

"I love you," I tell her.

Before she can say another word, I push into her. She gasps as my mouth covers hers and hell, I know it's going to be quick, so I do my best to give her what she wants.

I make it hard.

"Fuck." She digs her fingers into my biceps.

Her hips meet mine, thrust for thrust. "Jesus…. Christ."

The table scrapes against the floor. I wonder if it's gonna collapse.

"Mary… Mother of… Fucking God," she finishes. Then her eyes go wide. "Oh my God. Edward. Sorry."

She looks past me, up toward the ceiling and mumbles something breathlessly. "...no offense. Amen."

Fuck. "Did you just pray. While we're having sex?"

"Um."

"That's the sexiest… fucking thing... I've ever..." Christ. The table practically slams into the wall. "Seen."

My body shudders. I'm spent. Done. I collapse on top of her. Our breathing is heavy.

Then we laugh.

I push some hair from her face.

"Say it again?" I ask.

She bites her lip and bats her lashes. "Mary, mother of fucking-"

With a brush of my hand over the date on her ribs, she squeals with laughter. She tries to squirm out from under me but she can't. She's trapped beneath me.

Her hair is a mess, her eyes are shining. God, I love her. "Say the other thing."

"I love you, Edward." I let her go as I bask in those words.

"I love you too… This look."

"What about it?" she wonders out loud.

"I could spend the rest of my life with you and it would never be enough."

"Works for me. I'm never letting go of you again."

"You sure?" I ask.

Her lips turn up in a half smile. She slides her hands around my waist, confident and sure. "Who do you think I got this big ass house for?"

It is a big house. Fucking huge. With more than a dining room table in it, hopefully. "Bella?"

"Mmm?"

"I can do better."

She hums. "Don't I know it."

She hops onto the floor and rakes her eyes over me. They linger on my dick. She raises an eyebrow. "Want to see the bedroom? Show me what you've got?"

Never have I ever wanted to run up a flight of stairs so fast. But I have something to take care of first.

"Give me a second?" I grab my jeans and pull my cell phone out.

Bella narrows her eyes. I hate to ignore her, even for a second, but this is kind of important.

I text Alice.

Hey can you feed Picco?

She texts back almost immediately. OMG

Is that a yes?

Bella's cell immediately starts to ring from across the room. When I look up from the screen, she's staring at me with one hand on her hip. And she's fucking sexy as hell, doing it naked.

DUH Alice finally texts back when Bella doesn't answer her phone.

"You sure you're not seeing anyone?"

"No, it's…" Instead of telling her, I pull up a photo of the kitten. "I have this cat…. It's-"

"Adorable!" Her hands fly to cover her mouth. "Oh my goodness! How? Why?"

I shrug. "One of Emmett's crazy ideas."

"He said you needed a cat?"

I try not to look anywhere in particular. Definitely not there. It's difficult when Bella's not wearing a stitch of clothing.

"Not exactly." My cheeks are burning. I'm sure they're red.

She gives me a look like she suspects something then shakes her head. "Very subtle." She laughs. "He wasn't wrong though."

"No, he wasn't. Still wanna show me your bedroom?"

She takes my hand and leads me up the stairs.